


Sorry Was Never Enough

by lxmos_nox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Pre-Slash, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxmos_nox/pseuds/lxmos_nox
Summary: Remus goes back to Sirius to apologise. But he's too late.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Sorry Was Never Enough

Remus couldn’t believe he was doing this. He hadn’t even looked at the boy for months, the pain of knowing what he did flooding his body more than anything else. He’d sworn to himself that he didn’t need that friendship anymore. He had other people around him now, people who didn’t know his secret, people who didn’t actually mean that much to him.

So, why was he standing in the middle of the road, in the dead of night, staring ahead at numbers Eleven and Thirteen Grimmauld Place?

This question whirled around his head like a carousel. He sighed. The night was hot and muggy and made Remus’ curls turn frizzy within two minutes of arriving in the London residence, touching the ground with his worn trainers as he tore the broomsticks from under him. His parents were still asleep, blissfully unaware that their son had snuck out for… What, exactly? Remus didn’t know. He hadn’t been thinking straight since he arrived home from school in July. His mother, who’d previously been diagnosed with a form of cancer that February, was more worried about his health than her own and that was the main thing that drove him to do this. But now he was faced with the situation, he was frozen, his heart was in his throat.

He thought he was being clever by coming at night. No-one would know that the two had even interacted. They would just be back to normal overnight, back to dry wit and sarcasm and playful flirting. He could ask his parents if he could invite his small circle of friends and it’d be like nothing ever happened. No-one would ever speak of it again, and everything would be right with the world. However, he never thought about the consequences if people did find out.

He sighed again and turned away from numbers Eleven and Thirteen. He was stupid. He knew he was. After how he’d treated the boy for the past however-long, how could things ever go back to how they were? It wasn’t just him apologising and Remus having the decision on whether he accepted it after a previous thousand other apologies. It was Remus apologising too, for how he had given one of his best friends the cold shoulder for months and for breaking their once-close-knit group and hoping to Merlin he’d forgive him. Grasping the broomstick he’d nicked from his father, he took five steps away from Grimmauld Place and stopped when he heard a front door slamming shut and somewhat-laboured panting. He turned.

Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place had joined Eleven and Thirteen, as if it had always been there, standing just as tall and menacing as Remus had feared. But his eyes weren’t on number Twelve. They were on the boy sat on the pavement outside number Twelve. Sirius Black. The boy who was frustratingly reckless but so goddamn charming that no-one could ever be mad at him for long. The boy who liked to act hard and almost-emotionless but had a side to him that Remus had the privilege to experience. His best friend.

The person who Remus couldn’t live without.

He swallowed and stared and exhaled. It was now or never, and Remus decided to go for now before his brain decided never. He stepped forwards, and he became aware that his footsteps echoed against the concrete through the silent night as Sirius looked up from his school trunk and grey met amber in the midnight air. Remus stopped on his tracks. A very nasty bruise had swollen Sirius’ left eye shut, and Remus could see a handprint on his face, followed by a few small scratches. He knew that these had been made by either Mrs Black’s many rings or her ridiculously-long talons for nails. He felt tears enter his eyes as he saw Sirius scoff. He watched as the pure-blooded boy stood up and started to drag the trunk away from Remus. And, despite his too-familiar aches caused by the impending full moon in just two days, he ran after him.

“Sirius.” he gasped when he reached the boy, being met with stone-cold grey irises. “Sirius, please.”

“‘M busy,” he mumbled, averting his gaze away from the scarred boy. “Running away and all.”

Remus swallowed again. “Sirius… Pads, plea--”

“Oh, we’re back to Pads?” he grumbled angrily. “Sorry, I should’ve known, not like you’ve been ignoring me for the last six months.”

Guilt flooded Remus’ body at the mixture of hurt and venom in his voice. That tone had always been reserved for his family, but Remus should’ve guessed that he was now ‘worthy’ of such a tone. He hated it. He did it to himself, and he knew it.

“You’re right,” he admitted, starting to struggle to match Sirius’ determined strides. “I’m a fucking idiot for letting this go on for as long as it has. But Sirius… I miss you.”

Sirius barked out a mirthless laugh and stopped on his tracks, facing Remus at once. Remus found it rather impressive that he could still pull off his famous scowl with one eye swollen shut.

“You don’t get it, Remus, do you?” he spat, and Remus deflated.

He could see that Sirius wanted to elaborate more but decided not to, taking advantage of Remus being frozen on his tracks. With a muttered ‘fuck you’, Sirius walked out of Grimmauld Place and left Remus in the spotlight of the nearby streetlamp, watching on with a broken heart.


End file.
